Part 3: Death, Dying and Re-Birth (for T)

For T, Part 3: Where Am I Going?

When the time comes for a spirit and soul to move on, remember that all endings are also beginnings. Blow your mind open to the big BIG picture. Heaven and Hell are not places, they are states of consciousness. Trust in the process, use your intuition, and remember some of the most important things cannot be see with the mortal eye.

This person you have loved and had experiences with; they are just moving on. To return to the quote that begins this series, from one of my favorite Guru's, Yoda says, “ . . . mourn them not, miss them not.”

A very advanced practice, indeed.

I close with the important question Kriyanandaji poses in his books; “Traveler in time, this is not your final resting place; what is it that you seek?”

If you have read all three parts of this blog, thank you for your infinite patience. If you have questions or comments, email me at Jill@UttaraYogaStudio.com

Deepest Blessings, and Shanti,

Jill

Part 2: Death, Dying and Re-Birth (for T)

For T, Part 2: Why Am I Here?

Now, there are many things that are specific to this lovely blue and green planet. This is not a complete list. There is the law of energy – anything that exists must be fed in some way. Which relates to the law of reciprocity – you must give and you must receive; nothing can be sustained that only gives or only takes. There is the law of gravity (we should all be pretty clear on that). And there is the law you may not have been told about -- the law of karma; meaning whatsoever you do, say or think to or about another, returns to you. The classic “you reap what you sow.”

All these laws can, of course, be transcended; there are verified stories that refute these laws; tales of saints who do not eat; who defy the law of gravity and levitate (read Yoganandaji’s Autobiography of a Yogi); and people can and do transcend their karma. But none of these feats are easy, my friends.

And so after a few attempts at wrapping yourself in matter and coming here, you started to create karma; you loved, you were loved; you hurt, you were hurt; you killed, you created, and on and on. You created desires and thought forms that are seeking fulfillment. Remember back to the first part – thoughts are things! They are creations and they take form (prakrati). And as lifetimes pass, and you choose time after time to return here and fix those mistakes, to fulfill those dreams and desires – and instead, you create more issues, more drama – more karma. You return again, and again, and again.

If you do not believe in reincarnation, that is fine – but that is one thing I will challenge you on, because I do have specific memories of past lives. It was even a part of the Christian doctrine until the Church decided people were not so willing to do the right thing when they figured they had another chance at bat. Again, do your own research; decide what you believe. What does born again mean to you?

When we decide we are ready to return to this school for the soul, as Kriyanandaji calls it, we have to choose certain things that we’re going to deal with – because we have so many! We have to pick people around us who will help us to achieve our goals; and we also tend in reincarnate with souls/spirits that we have karma with. For example, fall deeply in love with someone? You separate without feeling that the love between you was completely fulfilled? You draw that spirit to you when you return. The same with strong hatred. Foster a deep, abiding anger towards someone? It’s like sending them an energetic rope. They’ll be back in your life, and next time they might be your child, or your mother; seriously; the circumstances could be quite different. But whatever it is between you that needs to be resolved, you will be given your opportunity.

Each time we return to this place; we create a type of contract with the Universe to come here. This is where the natal chart of astrology enters into the spiritual practice. It is a map of what we have chosen to tackle in this lifetime; our blessings, and our obstacles. Our stumbling blocks and stepping stones. It indicates the timing of events and the flow of energy.

This current time in history is known in Hinduism as “Kali Yuga” (the Dark Age). Most of us incarnating now are a rather ambitious lot; we are coming in with grand plans to tackle some heavy karma. And the chart will show us – there will be group karma (the group meaning culture, family – any group you identify with); there will be individual karma. There will be karma that manifests in your outer life; there will be karma that manifests only in your mind. There will be karma from past lives; karma from the present life; and some karma you will create that cannot be brought to you in this lifetime. That’s set aside for the next incarnation. You will choose when to resolve it, when circumstances permit.

Choose. Remember this always. You choose. Another law of the Earth plane. There is a portion of free-will involved in all situations. You make choices. Those choices either resolve karma, create karma, or some lovely mix of the two. You choose -- to stand a deliver; to shrink in horror; to blame; to ignore; to fight; to surrender; to apply your wisdom, or say “who cares?” You choose.

You even choose your parents; the child will rotate the mother’s spine for about three months before birth, so that their spirit can see if their karma is resonate with the mother’s karma. A person has the karma to die at 5 and the mother does not have the karma to lose a young child, that child will not be born to that mother. Look at every person in your life and accept the responsibility. You have drawn this person into your life for some purpose, for some reason. What are they trying to teach you?

Sometimes this concept, this responsibility, is terrifying. We look at our circumstances, and we say NO; no, truly I would not have desired this experience, to have been with these individuals. We look at the incredible lack and struggles of people around the world; the poverty, the pain, the needless suffering. And it is not okay to sit back and think “oh, well, that person has that karma, so let them be in agony . . . .” That thought form alone creates karma.

Instead, cultivate the important spiritual practice of PATIENCE. For yourself, and everyone; we are all on a grand adventure. Our job is to remember why we came. Anyone you encounter deserves your respect. Anyone who hinders your progress, resolve the energy that exists between you with wisdom and walk away. (Or in some cases, RUN).

.... completed in the next post ....

Part 1: Death, Dying and Re-Birth (for T)

“Death is a natural part of life.

Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.

Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.” -- Yoda



For T; part 1 of 3; Who Am I?

Death. Transitioning. Leaving the Body. Whatever you call it, we humans struggle. The unknown terrifies us. We read books, we talk to people who seem to know what happens – but when the illness comes, once the body drops, we retreat to fear and trepidation. What happens? Where do we go? Is there a soul storage place for “good” ones and “bad” ones? Who defines good and the bad? And what about the rest of us that are neither good nor bad, but just somewhere in between? Yogic philosophy has helped to evolve my understanding.

I am not telling you what to believe; I am not even telling you things that I know beyond a doubt. I am telling you what I have been taught by wise people that I trust; what makes sense in my mind in my life (so far); and what resonates with my own soul experience as a seeker.

There are six major schools of yogic thought, and the Kriya lineage flows from the Sankaya school. There is one Divine Creator; one God. We are all a part of that Divine Creator. In the same way that water is all WATER. Even though some of it might create an ocean, and some might be sweat, and some might be an ice cube in your soda (organic, all natural soda, right?). It’s all still water. Separate out that ice cube, and it looks so different. Return it to its source, and it effortlessly merges with it. Our spirits, they are like that.

Might be a good time to define the difference between spirit and soul. In Kriya Yoga, the spirit is the actual piece of divinity that is your essence; the soul is the storage place of memories, and karma.

On the Earth plane, there is duality; that divine portion of us, spirit (in Sanskrit, purushra) and the matter (Sanskrit, prakrati). Matter includes everything you can see, as well as thought forms, etc.; everything that is NOT spirit, is matter.

At some point, we, as spiritual beings, a portion of the spiritual whole, found a being more balanced than any of the others we had ever met; more balanced than ourselves. We asked this divine being, how did you come to being so balanced? In such a pure state of deep knowledge of yourself? And he/she told us, look, I made a creation; a mirror in which to come to know myself; this Universe. And we, being curious, asked if we could take form to come to know ourselves; to enmesh ourselves in matter to experience this creation. And we did. And as we did so, we became very attached to our earthly existence and the physical pleasures and sensations of this realm. The more attached we became, the more we continued to draw ourselves back here.

. . . . . continued in the next blog . . . .

Protection

Encountered some grumpy people this week? Yep, me, too.

Being a yogi, I look at it in terms of energy. I am sensitive to other people’s energies; if I am around an angry person, it makes me anxious, even if they are not angry with me. If someone is sad, my heart breaks for them. When someone driving lays on the horn, it makes my heart race. Some people are impervious to these types of encounters, but I am not.

The older I get the more capable of maintaining some separation between other people’s emotions and mine. It is a practice to detach from emotionality so that you can see things clearly, and offer assistance.

It is kinda like if a doctor saw you wounded and got so upset about it she couldn’t do what needed to be done to help you. Even if it is not a crisis situation, day-in-day-out interactions with difficult people sucks your personal prana (energy, chi, whatever you like to call it) supply dry.

One of your first go-to solutions should be water; water is magical, there is nothing else like it on the planet. Drinking water helps to remove impurities, whether they are physical or energetic; add a squeeze of fresh lemon to really move things out.

Frequent showers help; visualize negativity flowing off of you like dirt. Use the power of intention. When I shower I always say “I release back to the Universe the pain, the suffering and the fear that I’ve absorbed from my fellow beings and I neutralize that pain, that suffering and that fear.” Not everyone needs to go to that level, but because of the work I do, extra care is required.

Baths are great as well, but since you are soaking, it’s a good idea to add Epsom salts to the bath; they really draw out impurities and neutralize negative thought forms that may have become stuck in your energy field. Add a couple drops of essential oil, and you’ve got yourself a relaxing spa moment; just remember to use your intention again, don’t just sit there inspecting the grout.

Cover your chakras; I always think it is a little unfair that businessmen normally wear a silk tie that covers their throat chakra on down; they are energetically protected because silk insulates. For women, get on the Winter Silks website and get yourself a silk camisole or two. They are inexpensive (though they have to be hand washed, ugh), good to wear if you are going to be somewhere where there is a lot of stressed out people. They even sell silk sweaters and other garments. A silk scarf around the throat and chest area would work well.

Covering your heart or throat chakra with a stone or medallion is also a great idea and very protective. Some stones are more protective than others (ex: amethyst), so take a few minutes to ponder your choices (if you live near downtown Roanoke, Seeds of Light on the Market has some beautiful reasonably priced ones in the cases on the wall behind the cash register). Try it, you will be surprised how much it helps.

Wearing something around your wrist covers the small chakras there; it is one of the reasons we Kriya yogis wear malas on our wrists. Look back at drawings from ancient times; people often wore some type of bracelet or cuff on their wrists.

If you have an argument in your home or office, light a stick of sandalwood incense, or spray some rosewater around to dissipate the negative energy. Ever noticed there are certain stores or houses that are always for sale or for rent? No business can ever make a go there? It’s all about the negative energy. And intention! When I purify a space I usually say in my mind “I release from this space any and all negative energies and entities, and I bring in love and light.”

Finally, cultivate your self-awareness. Work on your ability to be self-contained, and how to breathe through difficult situations and personalities. Own your ability to protect yourself; to even just visualize yourself being wrapped in golden-white light, or whatever color you perceive as protective. Thoughts are things; use them wisely.

Shanti,

Jill

Waste

Usually, I wear my hair pulled back into a ponytail; I prefer the no “ouch” covered hair bands with little grippies on them so it stays put. Not one to fiddle around with hair. Just want it out of my face when I practice and teach.

Last Summer my supply dwindled to one hair band. Some misplaced; some broke; I like to pretend my daughters commandeered the rest.

The thing is, when I had only one hairband, I was really good at keeping up with it. Made sure it was in the same place every night so I could put it on in the morning; if I pulled it out, I put it on my wrist. Very careful, because there wasn’t another one; I kept that one band for many, many months.

This month I purchased another pack of bands. And it is interesting how frivolous I have been with those new bands. Instead of going from the bathroom to the bedroom to find the band I wore last night, I’ve been just whipping out a new band. They are everyone; bedroom, bathroom, car, purse.

Who cares, you might say, about my losing hairbands? Well, it has started to remind me of waste in general; of taking things for granted. It makes me think of Japan, and the suffering people of Japan; and particularly, the problems with the nuclear power plants. The man-made problem of the power plants has the potential to be much worse than the horror caused by the earthquake and tsunami.

Why, I wonder, don’t we all have solar panels on our roofs? Why are we dependent upon an energy source we scarcely understand and can barely contain for our energy needs? We have 104 nuclear power plants in this country. I had no idea.

Instead of railing against them, I turn the gaze around on myself and realize, I am the reason that they build those plants. They build those plants to feed my lifestyle. The way of many lights and electronics and gizmos and gadgets.

Got up the other night at 2:30 am and came to the kitchen to get a glass of water. The glowing stove clock, microwave clock, printer button, computer modem, cd player, coffee maker; geez, I could have probably read a book in there. Maybe it is time to trim.

We have five clock radios in this house; that is unnecessary. The microwave, do we really “need” it? Could I maybe throw more clothes over the line instead of using the dryer?

The question is, will I use wisdom and change my lifestyle, or wait and be forced to change?

Shanti,

Jill

Seven Springs Farm

I am a person with good intentions. A great starter, but not much of a finisher. My life has been littered with projects begun and abandoned.

This time of year, my good intentions turn to the garden. I love to dig in the dirt. My mother-in-law likes to say that I could put a stick in the ground and it would grow for me. In my secret heart of hearts, I cherish this idea.

The reality of my life right now is that I have neither the space, sun, soil or time for a proper vegetable garden. Herbs, oh yes; a few flowers, indeed. But a properly bountiful vegetable garden, the kind that keeps a family of five eating well for a season; that takes tending and nurturing; time and attention. Preparation, preparation, preparation.

And a load of back-breaking work.

Over the years, I have learned that organic vegetable gardening is not something you can do half way. So I plant a bunch of basil, a few tomatoes, and turn to a local cooperative farm to keep us in fresh, fabulous vegetables.

Polly, the farmer at Seven Springs Farm in Floyd, Virginia, has been gardening for . . . well, forever it seems. Eternally optimistic (a requirement for someone earning their living in such a manner), incredibly talented, she (along with help from her husband and a couple interns) somehow coaxes enough gorgeous produce from her carefully amended and tended soil each Summer to feed over 100 families. And not just in the warm months. The farm shares from Seven Springs span from May into December. Starting out with the freshest greens, garlic scapes and other delectables you will never find at the local grocer, and wrapping up the season with keeper veggies like squash, garlic and potatoes.

If you live in the Roanoke area, Blacksburg or Floyd, and you want a piece of this magic; to know who grows your food; to know that care is taken not to use genetically modified seeds; that your food has not been sprayed with chemical gunk; to have the opportunity to work a few hours at the farm in exchange for a portion of your food; NOW is the time to sign-up. You’ve only got a couple weeks left to grab a spot; for more check out http://www.7springsfarm.com/csa/csaprospectus.html.

Return from Retreat

Just returned from a beautiful three-day sound healing retreat at the Stillheart Institute. Gorgeous place in the redwood forests of California. The retreat was led by my sister in spirit, Camella Nair. Check out her site at www.camellayoga.org.

I have a few observations from my travels.

*Note to self: do not wear a long, full, flowy, hippy-skirt to the airport. Unless you seek to experience a full leg up-to-the-crotch pat down by a large woman wearing blue plastic gloves. Though, I guess it could have just been the karmic result of me observing the woman in front of me wearing a tight micro-mini corduroy skirt and thinking “who travels comfortably in something like that?”

*The Roanoke airport is dead as a doornail; except, when it isn’t. After years of flying out of here, I showed up less than an hour before my flight and had to stand in line in security forever. How many 6:00 am flights can there be? I made the flight; my luggage, however, did not.

*Is there anyone on the planet who fits comfortably in an airplane seat? Even with my sweater balled up to support my lumbar, the headrest hits me right at the top of the back of my head. Five hours of jalandhara bandha, anyone?

*When you go on retreat with yoga people, even if you don’t know a soul, you will leave with a bunch of new friends and a deep sense of community and connectedness.

*Tree hugging is underrated.

*Why when I travel do I take so many books? I slipped a couple into my luggage, had two in my purse, and then a pile that I threw in at the last minute. SEVEN books, including my dream journal. For four days. Guess I am an optimist.

*I need to remember: it is so hard to make the time for myself; to get away. To leave the family, spend the money, whatever. But it is an important part of keeping me centered, healthy, happy and on the path.

Wish me luck on re-entry . . . .

Shanti,

Jill

The Bees (a poem)

I am the blogger who speaks for the bees
who seem to be vanishing, notice this, please.

Beautiful day, it is 80 degrees.
So from home I do roam to admire the trees.

Blossoming peach, apple, pear and more.
Circle the neighborhood, beauty galore,

trees cloaked in flowers, colors are glistening,
daffodils, hyacinths; something is missing?

Violets, quince, the humble dandelion;
but where is the humming? No bees are alighting,

I remember the Summers and Springs that have past
when trees were just humming, alive with a mass
of honeybees, bumblebees, small creatures with wings
who, we seem to forget, do important things,

which include pollinating the things that we eat.
And so when I walk, two miles, up the street
my heart fills with sadness; where did they go?
Down in my soul, I already know.

Chemical spraying for grass, perfect green.
People want produce looking pristine.
Purveyors of chemical, toxic solutions
persist despite all of our resolutions.

Go green! Earth first! On surface, maybe true,
but when it comes down to it, what do you do?
Are you buying organic? Not spraying your lawn?
Have you switched your dishsoap or still using Dawn?

I am the blogger, who speaks for the bees
and I offer this hopeful note to you, see
at the end of my walk was a huge weeping cherry
and there – there were bees! Though not very many.

Choose to act carefully; examine your ways;
be a blessing to bees in these coming days.


And maybe; just maybe; they won’t ALL go away.

Shanti,

Jill

Preparation

So; how are you doing? It’s been an interesting year so far; my personal experience is time flying by; lots of chaos and busy-ness; progress, but with a price. And even from my insulated vantage point in Roanoke, the world is changing fast.

The rebellion and crisis happening in parts of the world is going to spread; this is really the end of many things, but the beginning of others. And crisis, rebellion and destruction are the themes.

I began writing this blog last Wednesday, before what went down in Japan, because of all the talk in astrology circles about this Friday’s moon being a “super moon” – very close to the Earth. As I drove home to write the blog, I saw that the government had put up a “preparedness” type billboard near my house. Interesting.

It is one thing to have the mind prepared; to embrace change, be ready to let go of your current reality; but it is quite another to actually let things go. And right now, the lines are blurry; real life, dream life; reviewing the past, contemplating the future.

These next few years, there will be plenty of environmental disturbance. These are fundamental suggestions, but from now on (I mean, from NOW ON . . .);

Have water on hand; enough for your family for several days. Have food on hand. Food that doesn’t need to be cooked or prepared; canned food and staples; food for your pets. Don’t depend on daily trips to Kroger or the Co-op because you are always out of something. Don’t go all end-of-the-world on me, but stock up, and then rotate your stock so there is no waste.

Create local food connections; find someone who raises chickens and will sell you eggs; register for a local food cooperative like Seven Springs Farms or Good Food Good People. Dig up a little garden bed, or fill some planters with herbs and greens. Realize there might be disruptions in shipments of food, gas, and pretty much anything else you can imagine.

Have a basic plan to pack up your car and be gone for a while. Have a check list of things you would not want to leave behind if you had to get out of town quickly. Basics like clothes, blankets, diapers; phone, charger; maybe one of those crank-up radios that doesn’t need electricity. A can opener; important documents; road maps; medicines; matches and flashlights.

Don’t let your gas tank get to below ¼ a tank; I know it’s a pain, and you don’t have time; but if something comes up and you need to get to a safe place, you don’t need to sit in a gas line. Time to be a grown up; fill up more often.

Have a little cash on hand – just a couple hundred dollars in small bills. You need to make sure that if computer systems went down you wouldn’t be driving around trying to find someone to take your debit card.

And most important; listen to your intuition. You get a strong feeling you should do something, call someone, go somewhere; whatever; go with it. Tune into that inner wisdom now, and always.

Shanti,
Jill

Current Astro Info

You think life has been flying by? Technology boggling the mind? Rebellion in the air?

Well, buckle up, my friend; the planet Uranus goes into the sign of Aries Friday, March 11, 2011, at 7:49 pm EDT.

Which means, um – what?

Well, first of all, Uranus is the planet of freedom, change, rebellion, electricity; Aries is the sign of the Ram; expect this energy to be as subtle as a sledgehammer.

Not necessarily bad; just quick, fast, and intense. Had a little more of a temper lately? Yep, that’s this force. Been feeling oppressed and ready to break free from something or someone? Uh-uh.

Savvy enough to know what house Aries is in your personal birthchart? Then you know what area of your life is about to experience some radical change.

How to handle this energy? Well, if you’ve really got it figured out, call me; cause I’m not 100 percent sure myself. But, I’m trying to embrace change; be open-minded enough not to freak out when it arrives.

I’m trying to embrace technology; because that’s about to hit the fast-forward button to the max. I’m totally open to other realms, other worlds; a tear in the fabric of the Universe as it were. I’m cautious but optimistic that we’ll embrace this period and use it to our collective highest good.

Trying to avoid people who are obviously stuck in the old ways; who are entrenched in their personal views, and unable to be flexible, open and optimistic. Cause we need to be sending out the positivity; with all the energies about to go down these next few years, there is no room for the “glass half empty” people in my life.

Going to do some journaling and review of the period 3/9 through 3/12; look at my world and the world around me for the proverbial “writing on the wall.”

And, vibe strong.

Shanti,

Jill

Yoga Instructor Burn-Out

Several years ago I overheard two yoga instructors chatting. One said “oh, I teach about 15 classes per week right now; it’s my livelihood, you know.” My mind immediately was critical. “How?” my mind judged. How could you teach that many classes a week and do it well?

As you might guess, in the beautiful way the Universe instructs us, in less than a year I found myself teaching 15 classes a week; or more.

Owning a yoga studio has been a terrific blessing, but also more work that I could have dreamed. The challenge of running the Studio and teaching classes to support it; raising three young children; maintaining a marriage and a spiritual practice; is very hard work , indeed.

There are days I’d prefer to have my old life of a stay-at-home Mom. No conflict between my schedule and their schedule. Have a clean house; have homemade cookies in the cookie jar. It is a tremendous gift to have children and be able to be home when they are home; to stay home when they are ill. My husband has worked incredibly hard for the years I had that priviledge, and now I more fully appreciate that gift.

All the rules have changed now that I’m working, and the challenge of staying on the “want to teach” side instead of the “have to teach” side is one I’ve met often, and will again in the days and years to come.

For me, the first order of business is to take care of my body. Along with keeping myself hydrated, well-rested, and eating as much whole food as possible, I get a massage every month. Consider it essential, like brushing my teeth. Constant giving and no receiving is unsustainable. Massage really keeps my physical battery charged, and immune system strong. Don’t have the cash for that? Try swapping a private yoga session with a local massage therapist. But, truly, it is WAY cheaper than the co-pay for a doctor’s visit and even one round of antibiotics.

When classes seem rote, or I’ve said the same phrase constantly, it’s time for me to take a class. Seems so simple, but too often yoga instructors never take another teacher’s class. For me to hear how they describe a pose, or see how they sequence their class can inspire a shift or change for me.

The other side of taking another instructor’s class can be to approach it as a mental discipline to just “be” in the class and not be analyzing it. (“Well, I would not have done that many backbends without a twist . . . . “ – instructors know what I mean!) To truly immerse yourself as a student helps me to reconnect to my original love of yoga; and the savasana is always sweeter in a class setting for me than at home.

Speaking of a home practice, if you are a yoga teacher, you’ve got to have one – even if it’s “legs up the wall” for twenty minutes. Teaching is not practicing. Your home practice has to keep evolving and growing, or your student’s growth will outpace you. That’s fine if it happens naturally, and they move onto new things, for but don’t let it be because you yourself have stopped growing.

Subscribing to a couple yoga magazines can be helpful; always go through and tear out the sections on poses and keep them in files; I have one labeled “sequences,” one labeled “inspiration,” and another labeled “poses.” When boredom strikes, or I feel like the poses or sequencing is stale, a look through these articles can help to find a new approach, or a pose that I personally wish to master. Your students are a mirror. Recognize you tend to attract people with the same issues you have either had in the past, or are dealing with now. Your personal growth, the poses that are helping you will in turn help your students.


Ask other teachers what good books they’ve read lately, and borrow them. A book on mudras inspired me to research and practice several of them regularly, and my students love them. A book on Yoga Nidra led me to using the scripts in some of my restorative classes, and again, the students really loved the experience. Then again, if your nightstand only has yoga books, it’s time to find something else to read. Don’t think everything you read has to be spiritual or yogic. A great escapist novel or learning something new and different – perhaps another language -- keeps the mind sharp, and allows you to let go of your attachment to your yogic persona.

And finally, for me, yoga is a spiritual experience. If I am able to stay connected to the Divinity -- remember that I’m a spiritual being having a human experience -- it allows me to be patient with myself and with my students. To remember to recognize that all is change. And that this body, this mind, this personality; they don’t teach yoga classes. The teachings flow through my vehicle.

It is my job to open up, and receive.

Shanti,

Jill

What is Love?

Fascinating that we use one word for the vast concept called “love.” Casually tossed around, we use it to end a letter, the equivalent of “goodbye.” Or it can be whispered with quiet determination into your ear by someone you feel a deep connection to, and instantly the mind stops, and your entire universe shifts.

Same word.

We talk a lot about love. Think a lot about love. Have major expectations about love. But really, what is love?

For many people love is attachment; duty; something that comes with a lot of baggage and loads of fine print. (“I love you if” . . . “I love you when” . . . .) My spiritual teacher uses a different word – “prem” -- a Sanskrit term that means Divine love. Love with no opposite.

This world is a place of opposites – hot and cold, up and down, right and wrong, love and hate.

Real love has no opposite.

Unfortunately, many people twist love to mean absolute obedience; love without question or reason; love in the face of abuse and neglect. Complete surrender to another person’s personality. This is absolutely wrong. Allowing yourself to be harmed or demeaned doesn’t teach you anything. And it also creates negativity for the person mistreating you. Suffering is not noble, nor helpful. Real love doesn’t ask you to become a doormat.

How do you find and experience real love? Like most things, the journey begins within you.

You must first fall in love with yourself. Not through massive ego pumping; not from a sense of self-importance or conceit. And certainly not through external things, like how much you weigh, or if you’re having a good hair day.
Love of the self begins with the knowledge that there is a part of you that is connected to something vast and eternal. It comes from being an honorable person, and making choices that allow you to be your best self, both on the inner plane and in the outer world.

It comes from being really honest. Becoming aware of when you are telling yourself untruths about your choices and circumstances.

Love comes from forgiving yourself ; recognizing you are human, and not perfect. And yet, holding yourself to a standard. Finding that space between mentally battering yourself for mistakes, or always making excuses.


Who do you believe you love and honor the most in your life? Ask yourself; is it “prem?” The love of the Divine, with no caveats, no contracts? And then, you must turn the question around and look at yourself. Do you treat yourself as well as you treat this other person? Do you love yourself as well and as true?

Be willing to see the truth within yourself and recognize that no matter how many love relationships you have experienced, no matter how connected to yourself you thought you were -- you may only be at the beginning of your journey to discovering real love.

Shanti,

Jill