Relationship Karma . . . again

I think I am learning a little bit about relationships right now.

. . . [ridiculously long pause] . . .

Actually, I appear to have registered for a crash-course in relationships at the not-so-young age of 44.  Emphasis on the term “CRASH.”

Part of the reason there have been no posts to this blog is because my life is exploding on many levels.  Not necessarily in negative ways, but yet for me during this period it has been a good practice to conserve energy, keep my head down, and watch for incoming objects (ie, emotions, reactions, events).

So, tonight -- I am up late.  I am printing some astrology information for my files.  And in the process of printing, I am noticing some things.  Like how when I use the printer,  I’ve got to put the sheet of paper in just so – if I put in a sheet that already has writing on it – ie, some life experience, it’s been through the mill – then I better put it in the correct way, or I just print right over the old stuff.  What results is just a mess.  In order to print a fresh, new page, I’d better learn to insert the paper in the correct manner.  If the paper is bent up?  Not receptive?  It will never, ever work out the way I want.  Hmmmmm.

The other thing I notice is that impatience gets me every time.  If the printer is ready to roll, but the paper is not, then best not to just stick the paper in there.  Because, BAM, it jams right up.  You can predict this; it’s not unexpected; it’s not odd or confusing.  If you pay attention, you figure it out within the first three or four times you run it.  The printer needs to be ready to receive the paper, not the other way around.  Totally predictable result that you can directly link to impatience.  Hmmmmmm.

Once again; once AGAIN, I have failed at maintaining a pivotal relationship in my life because of . . . . well, truthfully; many things.  But my perceived primary responsibility for this failure?  I did not speak my truth.  I did not ask for what I needed, and for what I wanted.  My needs were put aside, swept under the proverbial rug; when things were not okay I shrugged my shoulders and said “sure.”  When it hurt and felt limiting and my voice went unheard, I let it go.

And, truth is also that I will admit to feeling noble for sacrificing my desires, my needs; for ignoring my absolute utter fundamental ideals; in order to keep the peace and maintain what was, because I was afraid of what would be.  Because the pain that I already knew felt more comfortable than the dark unknown.

So, just like the printer . . . BAM. 

That is, of course, the short emotionless version. 

Reality is, the relationship is over.  I think of love like well.  Each interaction either fills or takes.  The healthy well ebbs, and flows.

Thousands of times I dipped down into that well – thinking it filled with bottomless love and devotion; and then, there is the final time – and my bucket scraped hard and loud across that stone floor.  There was nothing left.

Learn from my mistakes.  Feed that which you wish to grow.

Speak your truth; love with your heart and your head; love with your honesty, and with your voice.

If you know the printer jams when you force the paper in – you know yourself and where the pitfuls of you and your partner await -- and you intend to keep that printer -- then, maybe, this time, you will be patient; you will understand how its fundamental nature.

If you are dealing with a printer, you will wait; if you are dealing with a person, you will SPEAK.

Shanti,

Jill

Are You Breathing?

Are You Breathing?

No – really, are you breathing? Well, I certainly hope so. You wouldn’t be reading too much further into this post if you were not.

But seriously; are you truly breathing?? A breath that keeps you nourished, oxygenated and healthy? Many people do not understand the importance of breath.

Approaching it from the science side, there are many systems in the body that are totally dependent on the ratio of oxygen to carbon dioxide in the body. If the body’s level of oxygen drops to a certain level, systems begin to shut down; kinda like an emergency mode, where non-essential systems (like metabolism) slow or shut down.

Moving along at the speed of LIFE, we often find ourselves in this constant fight-or-flight mode that leaves our bodies starved for oxygen. From the yogic perspective, this also limits your intake and quality of prana or lifeforce. Breathing is one of the major ways to bring in and move this lifeforce. (Note for the yogis: sometimes people think that the term “pranayama”in yoga means simply breathing techniques, even though the breath is only one of the many ways to move prana – other pranayama techniques include mantra and yantra – anything that controls {yama} lifeforce {prana}).

You could say that the way you breathe your breath is how you live your life.

Studying the breath has become a major portion of my practice, having recently picked back up my restorative breathwork apprenticeship with Kathleen Barratt of Barratt Breathworks. Check out her site at www.BarrattBreathworks.com.

When discussing the breath and any conscious, cultivated breaths, I always like to quote Goswami Kriyanandaji – “[the breath] is like a sharp knife -- used precisely, it is very effective; but if you wave it around, someone is going to get hurt.” Breathwork practices are extremely powerful.

The Barratt Breathworks model approaches the breath in a simple but potent way that helps to dismantle ineffective breathing patterns and restore the natural adaptability of the breath. It helps you to figure out where in your body your breath moves; or doesn’t. It unites breathwork, mindfulness and energy flow in a way that brings you more in tune with yourself. And, eventually, opens you up to permitting the natural intelligence of your breath to move through your body in a way that brings healing, health, and a deep spiritual awareness.

The breath can heal you; open you; nurture you; connect you back to spirit. Really.

Whether you are an experienced yogi with a regular pranayama practice, or just someone who is ready to be more open to this life, Kathleen is facilitating a Restorative Breathwork Weekend at Uttara in January, details below. I’ll be there assisting for my apprenticeship. If you are interested, register soon, space is limited.

And really; it’s about time you started to truly LIVE; and to truly BREATHE . . . . .

Saturday, January 7 from 1:00 to 5:00 pm
Sunday, January 8 from Noon to 4:00 pm

Barratt Breathworks Restorative Breathwork Weekend --
Combines Hatha Yoga, Breathwork and Meditation; Facilitated By Kathleen Barratt. This program is tailored both for the beginner as well as the experienced student of Restorative Breathwork. Emphasis on exploring the interrelationship between breath and energy and its dynamic influence on consciousness as well as physical health and well-being.

Dynamics are specially designed for small groups to provide one on one attention from Kathleen. Fee $125. For more information please call 540-966-6703 or visit http://www.barrattbreathworks.com/. Pre-register by December 30; continuing education credits are granted in accordance with Yoga Alliance.

What Do You Wish To Attain Through Yoga?

We have an intake form at the Studio; you know, asking for
name, address, email; medical complications; blah, blah, blah.

On that form we also ask this question: What do you wish to attain through yoga?

This is because of one of my primary teachers, Goswami Kriyananda. Throughout my training, he continually emphasized that we are to teach what the students want to learn; not our own little agenda; not what we think people need.

What do the students want? What information do they seek?

So, I was thinking about this, because I’ve been thinking a lot about intention – about the linking of thought/action/spirit – which is how you make anything, ANYTHING actually happen in your life.

What do our students want?

Oh, the majority of intake forms say things like “strength,” “flexibility,” “toning,” “stretching.” But there are some really interesting answers lurking about in the file drawer, and I thought I’d share my favorites.

And the interesting thing is – all these things – ALL THESE THINGS, yoga can bring you; it delivers. All you ever have to do is this: PRACTICE.

meditation and flexibility

it’s part of my spiritual practice

enlightenment

focus, calm, openness, fire

tone and stretch

not sure

relax, man

time with my wife

internal space

exercise

quiet mind

joy!

physical and personal growth

pain free

that could take a long time . . . .

inner peace and badass flexibility

a better understanding of self

better breathing

a happy spouse

inner strength

?

awesomeness

love and light

open hips

weight management

community of like-minded individuals

destiny

help for my back

a positive experience

re-educating my body

fun

deep relaxation and spiritual advancement

sweetness

eternal youth!

to feel better physically, mentally

toning

peace, connection, oneness, movement

sleep

peace and light

balance

learn to be more calm

happiness!

better health

improve my practice

everything!

fabulousness

core strength

wife happy

anything!

opening up and letting go of stress

self-acceptance

hmmm . . . there’s many things

mind yoked to body

experience

So . . . if you read this far (and I hope you did . . . ) what is it that YOU seek?

As Kriyanandaji says . . . "Traveler in time . . . this is not your final resting place, what is it that you seek here?"

Shanti,

Jill

Thanks and Thanksgiving

So, today, I received the most beautiful email. It read like this:

“Thank you for being my friend. I love you.”

And . . . that was it.

Wow; holy WOW. I am
so grateful to this person. Things are
so busy this time of year; this day!
Cooking and cleaning and preparing and planning and trying to make
memories and magic. This tiny gesture
helped me to feel my relationship with her; a connected and happy and safe
place; and in the quiet space of my mind, in that moment, deep gratitude
bubbled up.

I always say that there are friends and then there are
FRIENDS. You know; the kind that you
call and say “hey, I’m kinda in . . . Singapore . . . and I . . . kinda lost my
passport . . . and I . . . kinda have no money . . . can you . . . kinda, come
get me??? . . .

This is one of those friends for me; I am blessed to have a
long, long list of those kind of friends.

Sometimes, we overflow with gratitude; for big things, small
things; for everything. And, other
times, we get stuck in “don’t have enough of” or “why can’t I have” or just “why
couldn’t you just . . .” or simply . . . “ouch ouch ouch.”

Ouch.

So, this is a week (astrology, not holiday caused!) of a little more emotion and anger and
movement in the direction of change than most people can handle with grace and
style. Have you noticed this in your
life, in the world around you?

I challenge you to take a moment; a deep breath, and tell me
-- what are you grateful for? What
inspires your soul? Can you see the gifts
have you received? Can you see each
inhale and exhale as the deepest blessing?
Each morsel of food as communion?

Each interaction with family (family!) and friends as a
lesson on love and boundaries and acceptance and kindness and
it’s-okay-to-know-that-being-around-you-is-not-so-great-for-me-so-I’m-gonna-take-some-space,
OKAY?!

Can we offer gratitude for our health before we are
sick? Enjoy the food even if it is not
our taste, our brand, our way? Can we
create a safe space to love within our families and serve them without an
attitude of self-sacrifice or not speaking our own truth?

There have been many, many years that I could do none of
those things. I am aware, and trying to
do better.

“Thank you for being my friend” -- what greater gift could
you give to anyone in your life, be them blood related or spirit connected?

Blessed Thanksgiving,

Shanti,

Jill

Angels, Guides and Teachers

When I decided to open Uttara, you have to understand where my life was; I’d been a stay-at-home mom for nine years; had three children,
the youngest was four; no family in town to count on; I’d never run a business, and frankly; didn’t have a clue what I was jumping into.

But from the very beginning; I had a strong sense that it was going to be okay; a deep feeling of safety that came from a source that felt real and true. And in everything I did, there was guidance; even the silly, simple things.

I decided I need a large basket to hold mats; a week later, there’s an enormous basket out at the curb in my neighbor’s trash (perfect basket, no damage – we’re still using it); needed something to hold purses and belongings; wander into the local Habitat for Humanity store and find a gorgeous piece for $75 (as I was hauling it out another patron told me that I would have made it onto one of the home decorator shows with that find).

And one day in particular, I had a small block of time to finish outfitting the place; hired a sitter to watch the kids, time was precious. As I got in the car, a little inner voice talked to me and instructed me in these mundane tasks, advising where to go, and what to buy. If you know me, I’m not a shopper, nor a decision maker.

But this day, it was like I was on a mission; from place to place, finding precisely what I needed at the price I needed it to be. Was thinking, “maybe God really wants this place to open . . . .”

Final item checked off my list, rushing to drive home, five minutes to spare to hit the deadline of my babysitter. Cruising toward I 581, my little voice tells me to exit the road and take the longer way.

“Uhh? What? WHY!?!”

This inner wisdom, which had guided me all morning to make wise decisions, gives me this piece of information and I . . . . complain; I argue with it. It didn’t make sense! I was in a HURRY! (Inner voice, don’t you get it, paying a sitter by the hour! Promised the kids I’d be home!).

So, as I have done more times than I wish to count, I ignored this voice. What the heck, really?! My inner voice is telling me how to DRIVE? Like it's my ex-husband or something?!

This whole exchange took mere moments, and as I merged onto 581, rounded the bend, and saw that traffic had come to a standstill, I understood. There had been an accident. And so, there I was; stuck in traffic, because of my stubbornness.

Had to laugh, and I did; but it reminded me of myriad times I neglected that inner wisdom; when the little voice in my head told me to go left, and I went right; when the little voice said no and I said “but but but -- why not?” When the little voice screamed and cried and I just looked away, because clinging to what I had been doing or what I had committed to seemed to make more sense than this frightening unknown path speaking up inside my head.

Would love to say that I learned my lesson; that I always following my intuition; and that my inner voice and I have established a clear and visible connection; but that is not true.

Sometimes my head has a cacophony of voices; sometimes, I still deny what my heart and wisdom tell me. Sometimes I do nothing; or take the easy way out.

But I am aware, and I am trying; every day; to hone that inner wisdom and to listen listen listen to the angels, the guides and teachers who surround me and support me.

Perhaps it all comes down to having a little faith . . . and the ability to trust.

Shanti,

Jill

Camella Nair will be at Uttara!

I’ve brought a lot of other people’s teachers to Roanoke to do workshops. This month, I am excited to be bringing one of my teachers to Uttara.

Camella was my advisor during my Hatha Teacher Training program through the Temple of Kriya Yoga. It is not an understatement to say that her guidance helped to significantly shape my path as a yoga teacher, and as a person.

Camella is a Kriya Yoga Swami, which is a yogic priest, in addition to being a yoga teacher; ordained through the Temple of Kriya, she’s also one of those rare people who live their yoga 24-7; she lives in an Ananda community in California; she teaches yoga for a living; and is also an accomplished author and recording artist.

Her special gift is the way that the teachings just flow through her; her vast knowledge of yoga, and specifically Kriya yoga, are just a part of her nature. She also has the most beautiful chanting voice and a total no-nonsense way of bringing forth the teachings. Honest, forthright, blunt, true; Camella lays it all out, and in a language that you can actually perceive and understand.

Yoga is an oral tradition; it was never intended for written material or books; something is always lost in translation when you write the teachings down, in the same way that a picture is worth a thousand words. The teachings are organic, and as the teacher’s experience changes, and so do their teachings. So actually being in a teacher’s presence is an important piece.

In yoga we call this concept of “darshan” -- the blessing bestowed by being in the presence of someone who has done the work, and is ahead of you on the path. Just their very vibration in proximity to yours allows a shift in consciousness.

The workshops will be focused on the three “bodies” – meaning the physical body; the astral (energy) body, and what is called the “causal” body – your spirit, which is the never-born-will-never-die part of each of us. The yoga poses, meditation, philosophy and discussion will connect back and weave into this theme, and will be accessible to student of all levels. Don’t be afraid to learn more about who you are, or to seek to deepen your practice. Each workshop stands alone, and you can take only one or all.

Call or email me with questions! Jill@UttaraYogaStudio.com, 540-309-0071. For more on Camella, check out her website, http://www.camellayoga.org. Info on the workshops is below!

Saturday, October 22 and Sunday, October 23:

Camella Nair: Yoga of the Three Bodies -- Join us for a special weekend immersion into hatha yoga, meditation, mantra and discussion on navigating the chakras, nadis and koshas of the subtle (energy) body. You will also learn techniques on how to purify and balance energy from the Kriya Yoga tradition. Workshops can be taken individually; all are accessible for students of all levels.

Camella (Swami Nibhrtananda) is an ordained Swami within the Kriya Yoga lineage, author of two books, recording artist and mentor. She has studied mantra with Russill Paul and Ayurveda with the California College of Ayurveda. She teaches yoga, meditation and offers Ayurvedic body therapies in the South bay area of California.

Saturday, October 22:

9.30 am - 12.00 pm
Kriya Vinyasa Flow Class -- Camella has developed and taught this series of asanas (yoga poses) over the past decade that has helped many people develop greater self-awareness and discipline in their lives. Class will finish with some breath/prana exploration and a brief meditation. Accessible for all levels of students, $25/$30

2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
Subtle Anatomy; Chakra Hatha Yoga -- You are more than a physical body. To understand and learn about subtle anatomy and the energy body is to delve deeper into the science of yoga and take more control of your life. This class will be a discourse followed by asanas (yoga poses) that specifically affect certain chakras. $25/$30

6:00 pm – 8:00 pm
Kriya Yoga 101 (with nada yoga and meditation)-- In this class Camella will share balancing techniques from the Kriya Yoga lineage, as well as lead some group chants and meditation. $20/$25

Sunday, October 23:

10:00 to Noon
Hatha/Pranayama/Meditation -- A complete yoga practice incorporating Kriya hatha yoga techniques, breathwork, and meditation; create your Kriya sadhana. $20/$25

My New Teacher

Meet my new teacher; it's a Cannondale mountain bike.

Like many synchronistic meetings in my life, I didn’t really go looking for it. Was thinking of getting a road bike, now that all three children can ride. Went to Just the Right Gear in Salem; they had been so patient and helpful when I bought a bike for my daughter. After a talk with the owner, I chose a mountain bike with tires that would let me occasionally road bike.

Now, I’m not unfamiliar with bikes; but it’s been 20-some years since I road regularly. Bikes have changed! And, mountain biking is different from road biking; the first time I came upon a rock, I squished my eyes shut preparing to get dumped; and instead, just flew right over that sucker. Wow!

I’ve been meeting friends and riding out at Carvins Cove (which is a little slice of heaven) about once a week. REALLY fun; like I’m 12-years old again and so brave and so free.

Mountain biking gets me out in nature; gives me a feeling of freedom and ease; is great exercise; and there are no worries of traffic or crazy car drivers. It’s so fun trying to jump the bike over piles of logs and flying down hills. It reminds me of those days of building ramps out of bricks and old boards with my brother; doing crazy stuff I’d probably never let my kids try now.

On my very first ride I was sucking wind; not used to riding; and two of my friends zipped off in a little friendly competition. Another rider hung back with me, introduced himself and we started to talk. “This is my therapy” he explained. Now, I totally get that.

There are so many amazing metaphors between life and riding the bike. Like if you focus on the obstacles, you’ll steer right into them, so be sure to keep your eyes on the path you want to choose, and not what’s in your way.

Remember not to be gawking at the scenery while riding; sometimes I want to look around, it’s so incredibly beautiful! But don't let the mind get distracted, or think about your grocery list. Out of nowhere obstacles appear; a root, a rock, a low-hanging tree, and BAM, down you go. So if you’re gonna ride, RIDE; and if you’re gonna rest, REST. Multi-tasking is overrated.

It also helps me to remember when facing a steep hill, or a place in the path where I’ve gotten stuck before to just put my head down and pedal; because if I obsess, or look far ahead, it’s too daunting. If I just put my nose down and deal with the little bit of the path that’s right in front of me, then it’s just not so difficult. You just get on through it, and keep moving.

Riding with my friends has helped me to see how often I put myself down (in my mind and out loud); apologizing for not keeping up, or for struggling with a portion of the path; or for having to get off and walk the bike up a hill or through the mud. We have a running joke about how often I have said “sorry” – something I have struggled with for years. They are my friends; they don’t mind waiting up for me, or helping me out. Why do I struggle to accept their kindness and their help?

Recently while making several attempts to jump a log pile, I got a little scraped and bruised up. Showing them to my friend with a laugh, he said “It’s all about quality of lifestyle . . . .”

Yeah . . . riding may occasionally leave me with a bump or a bruise or a cut; but each time it happens, I’m a little wiser and a little stronger; and it’s WAY better than staying home on the couch and missing out on the fun.

Shanti,

Jill

Shifting

Last week, I sold the children’s swing set. It was a really nice one, with a little tower thingy and three swings; tiny little climbing wall. I remember when we first purchased it. I wondered why I had waited so long; it was magic the way all children would run to it, mostly wanting to swing. Swinging is a lovely, rhythmic way of releasing tension, at least for me; I still love to swing, so I always understood the draw.

But in five short years, the children have outgrown it; probably this Summer was the first lonely Summer for the swing set; the first time it was wished away to make space for soccer and tag.

It feels like a turning point in my parenting life; there was the time OF the swing, and there is the time AFTER the swing.

The children are 13, 11 and 8; each within a few months of a birthday. No more babies in this house; nor toddlers; actually, only one child.

So, I like to think I sorta understand where that is and what that is for them, because I’ve been those ages before and had some of those growing experiences. The question is: what is it, where is it, now, for the adult middle-aged (eek!) woman. You know, me.

I was telling a friend recently, that it’s like climbing a mountain; at this point in parenting, you catch of glimpse of the vast horizon; of a space that isn’t just nose-to-the-trail. During the years of babies; of diapers and runny noses; of learning to do everything, EVERYTHING from walking to talking.

Not to mention just plain trying to keep those creatures ALIVE.

And, suddenly; that’s not your role any more. Even if you thought of your parenting-self as a sculptor; a painter; someone who had a hand in or a major role in their development; the reality is – they are who they are. What you’ve said and taught means very little compared to what you’ve done and what you’ve conveyed with the very essence of your being.

And whether you think you rocked it, or if you just barely escaped, it really doesn’t matter – it just . . . IS. There are no do-overs in this incarnation.

Leaving the grocery store the other evening I ran into a former student; I was rushing home to the children as she ambled into the store. We exchanged hellos and when I asked how she was, she shrugged and said “empty nest now . . . go home and hug your children.”

There’s a really big space in my back yard right now; which I hope is filled with running teenagers, and soccer balls, and who-knows-what after that.

Might be a good time to remember that some day, there might be an even bigger space in my life.

Shanti,

Jill

Patience vs. Push

In order to work with the current cycles, I have been spending some time going back through my journals. It helps me to see the patterns; to see the sticky places and the blind spots (though, I guess if they weren’t blind spots they would be easy to see, eh?!).

In my journals I came across an entry from about a year ago where my sister disciple, Gracia, passed a Kriya technique for healing along to me. And THAT reminded me of the little lump in my foot.

See, on the top of my right foot, this odd little hard lump showed up; it was hard, like bone, and right under the skin. It got large enough to stick out, and it really looked icky; it also made it hurt to sit on my feet, which as a yoga teacher, I do a LOT. So, I decided to use this technique on my little lump.

I probably used the technique for a month and a half; really, no more than that, and not even daily. And, right away, I got impatient with the process. Five times; no change; fifteen, twenty times; and my lump, still the same. How great could this technique be if it couldn’t handle my little lump?

So, I stopped the technique, abandoned it really; chalked it up to something that either I wasn’t good at, or just plain didn’t work.

And I had not thought about it for a long time, until I re-read that entry and realized; the lump, it’s gone! I don’t know when it disappeared, but when I reached down to feel for it, there was just a teeny tiny little spot left. Not visible to the eye.

Did the healing technique do the trick? Was it my desire for it to go away? What happened here? And why, why, was I so impatient?

Actually, patience factors into everything in my life; living, loving, parenting, teaching, growing, learning, healing; where is it that patience is not required?

So, I’m thinking now – what other bit of fabulousness have I glossed over because I didn’t take the time; because I didn’t devote the minutes, the hours, the years? And the flip side of that is – where have I been WASTING time; throwing minutes and hours and years at things that are not growing, that are not evolving; that just aren’t taking me where I need to go?

The ever-present issue of where to lean into Life, and where to ease up? Push vs. Patience.

If you’ve figured it out, please let me know; in the meantime, I think I’ll pick that healing technique back up and work on it; I am thinking it belongs in my practices. But I also must re-examine my life -- where I am spending those minutes, those hours, those years? What is taking time away from what matters? From what is real? From what is true? From what . . . matters to me? Hmmmmm . . . .

August 2011

“We should be training for August [2011] like athletes.” -- Mystic Medusa

This is from a post back in July by one of my favorite astrologers, who goes by the moniker Mystic Medusa. If you haven’t noticed, this has been a very interesting month in most people’s lives; very few are unaffected.

The question is, how are you doing? [Not just the little surface smile and “I’m fine.”] How are you really doing with . . . everything!

Cosmically, some very long-term aspects are being triggered, both within us and around us. The key with any change is to try to approach it in a balanced way; a harmonious way; a don’t-throw-yourself-under-the-bus way. But it is important to note that the aspects being touched upon this month are just a tiny taste of what is coming; these are big, long-term cycles. Expect similar circumstances and energies next July-August, and continuing on for at least two years after that.

Seriously.

Now, I don’t tell you this to frighten you, and if you’ve been following this blog for any period of time, this is not news to you. But for those of you who have become complacent; who think they can just tie a knot and hang on and it’ll all go away, please; don’t do that.

If you are experiencing intuitive flashes that require you to lighten up, shift directions, let go of old ways of doing and being in this world, listen to them. If you are not yet journaling, please, PLEASE begin. When these cycles repeat – with more intensity – it will be ever so helpful for you to have a record of your thoughts, a record of what was happening in your outer world AND your inner world. Both are important.

If you do not have a meditation practice, or take time for quiet, peace and prayer, I strongly urge you to commit to at least a minute or two a day. A clear head and the ability to use wisdom under pressure will serve you well.

Remember that all is karma; all is earned. You signed UP for this existence.

Use the infinite power of your mind to create a balanced life for yourself; whenever terrible thoughts attach to you, immediately wrap them in light and say in your mind “it does NOT have to be like this.”

Slipping into fear, anger, sadness, despair; these are not useful emotions. Counter fear with courage and faith; counter anger with compassion and understanding; counter sadness with happiness and joy; counter despair with hope and love.

And, hang in there.

Shanti,

Jill

Summer Reading 2011

Oh, I SO meant to get this up earlier! But if you are looking for a good read for the last precious weeks of Summer, I have some suggestions; a couple recent releases, as well as some old favorites.



Blood, Bones and Butter, by Gabrielle Hamilton. This is just a great read. It’s the biographical story of a woman who is the chef/owner of her own restaurant in New York City, and the life experiences that all brought her to where she is and who she is today. The stories are beautifully crafted and heart-breakingly honest. Family dynamics, food, addiction, obsession, food, struggle, triumph, food, intensity, love, loathing, food. Absorbing.

Yamas and Niyamas, by Deborah Adele. For those of you who are ready to start at the beginning of the yoga path, the first two limbs of a true yoga practice are the yamas and niyamas. Essentially the “don’ts” and the “do’s” of living. Deborah Adele breaks down these basic ways of living and being in the world and explains them in a modern context. I don’t know anyone who would not benefit from this book. We have it available for sale at Uttara if you want to buy it locally; it’s a slim little volume that will give you a lot of food for thought, and shine a bright light on your path.

American Prophet, by Sidney D. Kirkpatrick. A fascinating book about the life of Edgar Cayce, this very complete volume digs into all aspects of the Cayce readings and will be of particular interest to those who wonder about the years of Jesus Christ that are not spoken about in the Bible, and for those of you interested in past-life experiences.

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo. I have heard of this book many times, but just like when the student is ready the teacher appears, I was finally ready and this book appeared. A profound read that helps you to understand how all truly is one; that love is a super-power; and that you should live every day in pursuit of your most beautiful dream.

The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams. This book speaks to women, particularly if you attune at all to native American cultures. A beautiful description of the various steps of growing spiritually, as an individual and in context with our “tribe” and community. So much of our individual experience is tied into the Universal experience of woman. Adore this book.

Sastun: One Woman’s Apprenticeship with a Maya Healer, by Rosita Arvigo. Fascinating true story of a woman determined to learn the old ways of healing. The author became the last link in the ancient chain as an apprentice to the last known authentic Mayan Healer, Don Elijio. The stories of sickness, healing, spirituality, prayer, and the bounty of the rain forest are just amazing. Made me re-think my concepts of healing, health, the power of prayer, the destructive nature of spiritual dis-ease, and the commitment it takes to become an actual healer. Plowed through this book in two days, couldn’t put it down.

Rainforest Remedies, by Rosita Arvigo. If you decide you are not interested in Sastun and the story of Rosita Arvigo, you still will want to read this great little volume. Arranged so that you can look up specific issues and remedies, it is a wonderful resource for those interested in homeopathic remedies and natural healing. Gives everything from recipes to massage techniques; prayers and rituals; as well as specific herbs, teas and tinctures. Not just for illness, but for wellness. Amazing resource.

Where Men Win Glory, The Oddessy of Pat Tillman, by Jon Krakaur. Most of us prefer to turn our heads away from the sheer waste and tragedy that was the War in Iraq, and what is the War in Afghanistan. This book helps you to see Pat Tillman, someone’s child-brother-friend-husband, as a three-dimensional personality – flaws and all -- and dissects the propaganda that our Government has rained down upon us about what truly went down. The Jessica Lynch story is also critically researched and frankly re-told. This book will open your eyes, extract your head from the sand, and hopefully give you a more critical and discerning mind when you are spoon fed information. Prepare to be inspired, as much as your heart breaks.

Getting Ready

We are always getting ready to live, but never living.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Couple months ago I was finishing up teaching a class. As everyone gathered their things, two women came into the Studio. Both beautifully dressed in office attire, they began to inquire about class times. As I spoke, both nodded their heads and smiled enthusiastically; it seemed like they were ready to give yoga a try. One looked to the other -- “What about the Noon Power class tomorrow?” “Oh, nooooo . . . “ she protested with a wide smile, “I have to go shopping for this.”

Needless to say, they haven’t made it back to the Studio. Perhaps someday they will. Maybe, in fact, with the latest and greatest yoga mat in a matching bag, the best-fitting pants, and the cutest Hard Tail top. But you know, if they never make it to class, none of that stuff matters.

What matters is showing up on your mat. In your ratty sweats, your Target sale pants, or whatever. Whether it’s at Uttara, at the gym, at home. Whether it’s your first class, your 50th class, or your I-cannot-even-count class.

Yoga is a practice. It’s not a start, and a finish. There’s never “you’re done, that’s it.” Yoga is constant change; constant evolution; constant exploration. Meeting yourself, whoever and wherever you are, and going for it.

And so with life. You have to show up. You HAVE to participate. You need to get in the game, be ready to face down your fears, embrace change, and figure it out. You have been given profound gifts from God; you have gifted yourself with incredible blessings and challenges. Whether you know it or not, you are on a mission to meet them.

There’s nothing wrong with waiting to find the perfect yoga pants; nothing wrong with getting that really fabulous eco-friendly wonder mat. It is okay to want to plan, to prepare, to set yourself up for success.

But at the end of the day, whether it’s your yoga mat, your meditation cushion or your life; planning and thinking and dreaming will only take you so far.

You gotta show up.

Shanti,

Jill